Nocturnal Activites

Random animal fact of the day:
Giraffes have the same number of vertebrae in their necks as humans do, although each one is about a foot long.
Insomnia is a crazy thing. At least I think that's what I have. I just never feel like going to sleep at night anymore. If I had a car I'd probably be driving around Knoxville at this time but since I don't, I am reading entire books and watching infomercials. As I'm writing this I'm finishing a book that I just got in the mail tonight. Then in about 2 hours I will go to sleep only to get up sometime tomorrow afternoon. I've always been a night owl but I think as I've gotten older it's gotten worse. I don't necessarily want to make it stop though. I don't really care either way.

...

So I found out some information tonight that had me walking around campus at night by myself. All of a sudden I couldn't bear the walls, too enclosed. Isn't it amazing how when you tell yourself that you're going to do something God sends something to test you? Like for instance if you say you're going to work on your forgiveness, God will most definitely send you something that tests that. But what if you don't think you can make it through? What if you're not strong enough to get over it? What if no amount of bible verses and praying can get through and make you not want to kill someone? What if you just can't do it?

A few thoughts

Random animal fact for the day:
The male Sea Louse kidnaps several female Sea Lice and then impregnates them. When the babies are born they explode out of each female Sea Louse killing her.



So as an update, I was really trying to not be bitter anymore about a certain person. It's starting to get less hard everyday. At least I don't feel the same animosity towards her as I did before. Suicide really is a disease. It not only affects the person who did it but everyone around them. And you go around thinking that there's no way someone close to you would do something like that and then it happens. Everybody always talks about the misplaced guilt and everything but you don't really understand until you go through it.

On the plus side, Thanksgiving is coming soon. I can't wait to go home. It's been forever and I can't wait to get some real food!

It's Fall Time

look at this loveliness
(too bad he's like 17)

Halloween has come and gone and I'm actually pretty sad. That just means that we technically only have the month of November left in school. I'm sad as to how fast time flies. My last year here at UT is almost over. It's been great and part of me is excited about the "afterlife" but another part is worried about the future.
Anyway I have decided to get back in the gym and start working out again. I always start and stick with it for a few weeks and then I usually taper off. The hardest part is making sure I actually eat and at the right times. Eating breakfast is my biggest setback with losing weight. I'm usually too lazy to get up early enough to make myself something to eat. And I have such weird tastes that I can start eating something and then a week later I usually can't stand it. Like Nutra Grain bars, or cereal. I like them for a while and then I just get tired of eating them. I'm just going to have to make myself a schedule and stick to it. Here's to turning over a new leaf.

18 days til New Moon!!!!!!

Did someone say chocolate?

Yay! It's almost Halloween! I love love love Halloween. Favorite holiday, favorite season. Although I've been a little bit busier than normal so I haven't been able to just enjoy it like I usually do, but I am determined to have fun the rest of this week. After I finish my to-do list of course. Lots of chocolate, lots of chilling with the roomies and watching scary movies, lots of snuggling in my favorite comfy pants...it's gonna be awesome!

Starting Fresh

Two very cool people suggested that I start blogging again so I have decided to do it. I really only made this blog because of the freshmen english class that I had 3 years ago and the last time I wrote here was 2 years ago so let's see how much I've changed.

A few days ago I decided that I didn't want to be bitter and angry anymore. Especially since I'm the type of person to hold things inside, or just to not let them bother me at all. I don't usually have trouble letting things go but lately it's been a lot harder than normal. I realized that I was holding on to a lot of bitterness towards Brittany. I'm trying not to blame her anymore for Mikie's death. She doesn't need me pointing fingers and hating her as much as I want to hate her for all of it. The best thing I can do for Mikie is to remember all the crazy awesome times we had over the years. That way when the kids grow up I will always have a crazy story about their dad that we'll all be able to laugh about.